Her Motivations
by the queen of slurking
Summary: Don't read unless you've read Wanted. T because I'm paranoid. Title is kind of self-explanatory


**As always I own nothing. All belongs to Sara Shepard.**

Courtney POV

I had long envied my twin sister. My parents adored Alison, and she knew it. In fact, everyone adored her. She fed off that adoration, and bent wills to how she wanted them to be. Teachers gave her straight A's, even if she didn't deserve it: half the time, she believed schoolwork was irrelevant and not always necessary. She really only did the work when she knew she had to, in order to stay out of trouble.

Sometimes I wondered if she was capable of hypnotizing people. Not in the way of putting someone into a short-term trance, but a long term one. After all, everyone adored her. Even the people she treated badly couldn't help but shrink back a bit as she passed, watching her wide-eyed and almost reverently. Like she was some major religious figure or deity.

It was because of her that I was in the psychiatric hospital. She always made me feel like the afterthought, the kid lagging behind trying to get her parents' attention: especially when the attention was already focused on the two golden children of the family.

So, in my anger and jealousy, I'd tried to drown her in our pool a few years ago. I'd done my best to steal her identity, reading her journal and trying to imagine myself in her place. I observed her handwriting carefully and mimicked it as best I could when I wrote something. When I could, I hung out with her friends in her place. I had to intercept phone calls and read texts to be able to manage it, but it wasn't hard to do. Then it was an easy matter, replying to texts as her: I had read enough of her writing to know how she wrote a text message. And of course the next step was deleting those messages I had sent and that she had received; not exactly difficult. No-one ever noticed. Her perfect life was a contrast to mine, locked away in the mental health unit. The contrast was like that of day and night, or heaven and hell. Mine, of course, was what might have been hell.

The hospital was perfectly nice, for a hospital, but I hated it all the same. Hospitals meant sickness, and that had always spooked me. The worst part was knowing I had no way of getting out, at least until my doctors decided I was healthy and stable enough to return to society. Just as bad was knowing that my parents had sent me here, probably so they could forget I existed and keep their family the way they wanted it. Two children, both perfectly healthy. One son, one daughter. Supposedly golden. Of course they wanted the golden children. Two parents, both perfect.

Me, the unstable one, shoved aside and locked away like I was some old, out of date accessory. Unimportant. No-one even tried to contact me: no letters, no care packages. Others in the ward had family visit occasionally, and I rarely had visitors. It was like I no longer existed. Just a face and name in hospital, and not important to my family.

I wished that for once, I could live the life that Alison was living. Better yet, while I was living her life, she could live mine. Stuck in hospital, no chance of getting out, while I lived the life of a regular girl my age.

If I could just get out of here, I could work out a way to make the switch.

As I thought, I fidgeted with my initial ring, the C gleaming in the light, taunting me. It was a constant reminder of who I was, and I wished I had my sister's A ring. That way, I could convince my parents I was her. We looked so alike that no-one could tell us apart. Even in photos, it was sometimes difficult to tell who was who.

One day I was called to my doctor's office. She told me that my family was moving to Rosewood, Pennsylvania, and that I was to be transferred to a nearby hospital. Before I shifted to the new hospital though, I would be spending a little time at home, supposedly to rebond with my family and play happy families. Like I wasn't mad that they stuck their daughter in hospital for so long. It was actually kind of difficult for me to remember what they all looked like-other than Alison, of course. Given that she was a carbon copy of me, I'd obviously never forget what she looked like.

On the day I left the hospital, Mom and Dad picked me up. Alison and Jason were with friends, and apparently didn't see the need to come and visit me.

We went to their new Rosewood house, and I was vaguely in awe of it. Soon, if all went to plan, I would be living there, where I belonged.

First though, I had to deal with Alison. She always treated me with disdain, like I was no better than dog shit stuck to the pavement. She had arrived home soon after we did, and I noticed she wasn't wearing her A initial ring. That helped, as I would now be able to take it and wear it. I'd leave my C ring for her.

When she saw me, she instantly went into mega-bitch mode. Within five minutes, she'd made a few comments about my being sick and so on. Similar to the stuff she'd said before. You'd think twins would stick together, but mine disliked the fact that I wanted to be her. So much for imitation being the sincerest form of flattery.

I excused myself to the bathroom and ducked into her room, next to the bathroom. It was easy to find the ring, since it was tossed carelessly to one side. I slipped it on, admiring the way the A gleamed on my hand, and replaced it with my C. With luck she'd just slip the ring on, taking it for granted as always, and not notice the C until it was too late-preferably when she was 'back' in the hospital.

I returned to the family, making sure to hide the ring in my pocket. Later, when Mom and Dad were trying to remember which twin was which to go to the hospital, I would put it back on. That way, they would think I was Alison and she was me, and she would be taken away in my place.

I had to wonder if Alison would notice the C right away, or if she was even going to wear the ring. I hoped so.

The weekend passed quickly and just before Mom and Dad were getting ready to go back to the hospital, I put on my ring. The A glinted proudly, rays of sunlight reflecting off it. This was going to be my life soon. To my surprise, Mom and Dad believed me easily when I said I was Alison. The ring just backed me up, and they took her and went. She protested, of course, but they figured that she was Courtney and just trying to avoid going back to hospital.

Once the car had pulled away and I'd finished speaking to the four random girls who'd shown up in the backyard, I went upstairs. Already they believed I was Alison, as I'd asked for their names: no doubt, they'd take that as Alison reminding them that they weren't important to her. Bitch. Now I had plenty of time to perfect becoming Alison, and I had to start at the source-seeing what I had to work with.

In her room, I surveyed the surroundings. Photos of her with two others, Naomi and Riley, were pinned up around the walls and the edge of the mirror. I didn't want her leftovers, so I would pick new friends to create my own clique. The four girls who'd stopped by would work. They would be dazzled by Alison DiLaurentis, as everyone was, and I could get them to do anything I wanted.

Finally I would have the life I wanted, and I would be on top for once.


End file.
